LOST AND FOUND
Lost: Dirty Gray Cat. Answers to the name Schmutzy. Likes to be scratched between the ears, but don’t try to pick him up by the belly or he’ll scar you for life. I’m speaking from experience. Makes a kind of asthmatic wheezing sound when he’s purring. May be allergic to something. Possibly cat hair, according to the vet. I know, that could be a big problem. Might even be why he ran away, but when we try to vacuum he attacks the vacuum cleaner and often the person using it. Please don’t try to lure him to you by feeding him, if you find him, he’s on a very special diet which involves pureeing whole mackerel and lots of expensive cat supplements in the blender.