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25 cartoons about psychology

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Other funny stuff about psychology

The Man Who Talks To Himself

By Ray Lesser

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I talk to myself because I’m the only person who I’m sure will listen to what I have to say. When I talk to other people, they always seem to be paying more attention to something else. Continue reading

Funny Times May 2009 Issue

Funny Times May 2009 issue cover

Cartoons about:
Environment . Psychology . News . Rich and Poor . Work

Order This Issue!

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

 

In This Issue:

Let’s Talk About You And Your Mother
By Garrison Keillor

Moms Gone Wild
By Denise Glaser Malloy

Bye American
By Will Durst

The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz

Kicking And Hugging
By Dave Barry

As New York Eats, So Might You
By Lenore Skenazy

What I Learned So Far
By Jason Love

Stupid Scientific Studies
By Bruce Cameron

Famous School Reports
By Richard Lederer

Kite String Theory
by Ray Lesser

Curmudgeon Looks At Drugs And Alcohol

PLUS:

Cartoonists Draw Cartoons About Cartoonists
Planet Proctor
News of the Weird
Harper’s Index
Spring Playground

Warp cartoon - downsized vacation

A Great Depression Goes Off Its Meds

By Ray Lesser

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As the economic downturn worsens, America faces a new and more immediate crisis: Crazy people are going off their meds. Continue reading

Happiness Breeds Success

By Ray Lesser

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Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. – Albert Schweitzer

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. – Norm Papernick

Everyone knows someone like my friend Keith. In Keith’s mind, everything’s coming up roses, even when he has to shovel two feet of snow out of his driveway by hand, because the plow guy’s truck broke down. “I could use the exercise,” says Keith. “And I can make a huge pile for the kids to play in!” Keith ‘s the guy who whistles while he works, smiles and waves at half the people in the hallway, and who loves to find the coffee pot in the break room empty. “After I make a new pot, I ‘ll get to drink the first cup. That ‘s always the best one!”

It turns out that, although he might drive curmudgeons crazy, Keith has found the secret of success. According to a research team from the University of California Riverside led by psychology Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, happiness, rather than hard work, is the key to success. “There is strong evidence that happiness leads people to be more sociable and more generous, more productive at work, to make more money, and to have stronger immune systems,” said Prof. Lyubomirsky.

Furthermore, happiness can extend across an entire nation, with people in “happy” countries being more likely to have pro-democratic attitudes. “People in happy nations trust others more and want to cooperate with their neighbors,” said Prof. Ed Diener, another member of the research team.

Prof. Lyubomirsky, who has a Ph.D. from Stanford, has devoted her career to studying human happiness. When she immigrated from Russia to the U.S. as a child she was amazed by Americans’ seeming obsession with happiness. While Russia was populated with pessimists and cynics, filled with dread as they looked toward their bleak futures, Americans spent their days looking for the newest ways to have some kicks. “Why are some people happier than others?” Prof. Lyubomirsky wanted to know. She found that unhappy people tend to dwell and ruminate on negative events. Such brooding tends to make them even more miserable. Meanwhile, people like my friend Keith tend to forget about negative events as quickly as possible, focusing instead on the next jelly donut, or e-mailed joke making the rounds. “Not only is the ‘unexamined life ‘ worth living,” says Prof. Lyubomirsky, “but it is potentially full of happiness and joy.”

Then she wanted to know, is happiness really a good thing? Or, does it simply feel good? But even a Ph.D. couldn’t find anything bad about feeling good. The benefits of happiness turned out to include higher income, more satisfying marriages, more friends, more energy, and even longer life. She also found that happy people are more creative, helpful, charitable, and self-confident, have better self-control and show greater coping abilities.

“Our work suggests that sad people should try to increase the frequency of positive emotions in their lives by doing things that make them feel happy, even temporarily,” said Prof. Lyubomirsky. Happiness is, literally, its own reward. Happiness breeds success, and that success, in turn, can create even greater happiness. “It’s an upward spiral,” Lyubomirsky asserts.

For most of its history, psychology has focused on one thing: Why are people so screwed up? Now researchers like Lyubomirsky are part of a new trend called positive psychology. “What makes a good life?” she asks, and “how can happiness be reliably increased?” She believes that greater happiness can be nurtured and even taught.

If that ‘s true, who better to teach it than someone like my friend Keith. So last week I visited his house to see if he could give me some pointers. “Doesn’t it depress you to realize that you’re getting older every day, Keith?”

“No, it just means I’m that much closer to retirement. Not that I have any intention of retiring. I love my job.”

“But, doesn’t it bother you that your hair is falling out?” I asked.

“Not really, it just means less to wash, and less to comb. Anyway, I read that in a few years they’ll be able to seed your head with little hair growing stem cells, so that it’ll all grow back thicker and shinier than it ever was.”

“What about problems like global warming?”

“Hey, I live in Cleveland. We haven’t had nearly enough global warming yet, as far as I’m concerned.”

“Aren ‘t you worried about the future of mankind?”

“Look, when I was a kid, the air was so bad from the steel factories downtown that we could hardly breathe. The Cuyahoga River was so polluted it caught fire, for gosh sakes. Now all that stuff is cleaned up. What’s the point in worrying? If you notice your roof is leaking, you don’t spend the day worrying about how moldy your living room is going to be in ten years. You get out your ladder, climb up there, and start trying to patch it up.”

“Keith, I notice that your arm is in a sling. What happened?”

“I slipped on my icy steps yesterday when I went out to get the morning paper.”

“And what was the first thing that went through your mind?”

“I thought, damn, I’m glad that I’m the one who fell down here. Because if it had happened to anyone else, they’d probably sue me.”

“You really are an optimist. You even laugh about breaking your arm.”

“That’s right, and I think that’s the key thing to learn. An optimist laughs to forget. A pessimist forgets to laugh.”

Do-It-Yourself Psychology Exam

By Ray Lesser

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The following is one of the oldest surviving Funny Times stories, originally published in 1986.

Are you having problems with your boss? Are your children threatening to turn you in for using prescription drugs that you no longer have a prescription for? Does the whole world seem like it’s out to get you? Maybe it is. On the other hand, maybe you’re out of your mind. But why waste thousands of dollars on a psychiatrist when all you might need to straighten out your life is a cleaning lady once a week. The results of the following quiz can put your mind at rest (or drive you over the brink).)

1. I love my mother …
a. and hope that she can take care of me forever.
b. and hope that I can take care of her forever.
c. and it’s too bad she’s not about 30 years younger.

2. I like to eat …
a. by myself.
b. with my fingers.
c. everything in the refrigerator and then throw up.

3. When I come home from work I …
a. bring work I didn’t have a chance to finish at the office.
b. loosen up on my Nautilus and then jog 10 miles.
c. get drunk and pass out in front of the TV.

4. I feel lucky …
a. every day when I go to the track.
b. whenever I find a four-leaf clover.
c. if my spouse stays awake for more than five minutes after we turn out the lights.

5. I get nervous …
a. with people I know.
b. with people I don’t know.
c. when the guy behind me in the checkout line jabs me repeatedly in the spine and asks me if I want to adopt his Cabbage Patch Kid.

6. I won’t listen to what someone else has to say …
a. unless they understand me as a person.
b. unless they listen to what I have to say.
c. unless they have more money than I do.

7. I get anxious …
a. when I run out of cigarettes.
b. every time I see the President on TV.
c. when I telephone for the time and nobody answers.

8. I am afraid of dying …
a. after a long painful illness.
b. because of an act of random terror.
c. and then becoming famous.

9. The best way to avoid pain is …
a. prescription drugs.
b. stay at home with the door locked.
c. don’t become involved with any more sadistic accountants.

10. I like …
a. people of the opposite sex.
b. people of the same sex.
c. sex.

11. People follow me …
a. because I’m a natural leader.
b. because I won’t let them get ahead of me.
c. because they’re after me and I can’t seem to lose them.

12. When I do something really stupid …
a. I break things and scream at the top of my lungs.
b. I beat my head against the wall and hit myself with studded leather.
c. I pretend I’m someone else.

13. If I were the President I would …
a. throw a lot of parties and let somebody else worry about running the government.
b. throw everyone who doesn’t like me in jail.
c. I am the President.

Scoring: One point is awarded for each answer you circled. Every answer represents a symptom of some form of mental illness, many of which are rare and incurable. If you scored 10 points or more, you must really be crazy, this is a cartoon newspaper, not a medical journal! Seek help immediately, but don’t call me, I work with enough nuts already.