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45 cartoons about school

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Other funny stuff about school

Funny Times September 2015 Issue

Funny Times September 2015 Issue

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Cartoons About …
Trump . The Legal System . Back to School . Social Media . Reporting . and more!

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Tom Cheney, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Tim Eagan, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, Buddy Hickerson, George Jartos, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Nina Paley, Joel Pett, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Flash Rosenberg, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Chris Wildt, Zippy, Adam Zyglis … and lots more!

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Funny Times September 2013 Issue

Funny Times September 2013 issue cover

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Cartoons about:
School . Banking . Camping . Technology . and more

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

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Funny Times September 2011 Issue

Funny Times September 2011 Issue Cover

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Cartoons about:
Marriage . Vacation . Sharks . Cats . and more

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

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Funny Times September 2010 Issue

Funny Times September 2010 issue cover

Cartoons about:
Travel . Shopping . Cars . Back to School . Harvey Pekar . Planet Proctor . Superstition . Work

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Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

 

In This Issue:

Sometimes You Know Just What To Do
by Ray Lesser

Living (And Maybe Dying) In Your Own Private Idaho)
By Dave Barry

Shopping With My Mom
By Bruce Cameron

Man Van
By Tom Bodett

School Supplies & Demands
By Jean Sorensen

Remembering Harvey Pekar
An Interview with Raymond Lesser

The Borowitz Report

Curmudgeon Looks At Coaches and Coaching
Compiled by Jon Winokur

Why The Thong Works Like Magic
By Lenore Skenazy

The Lazy Man’s Guide to Alaska
by Garrison Keillor

PLUS:

The Week Contest
Cartoon Playground
News of the Weird
Planet Proctor
Full Pages of News, Work and Psychology Cartoons

Fun At The Beach

In Charge

By Ray Lesser

ray-lesser-photo

My parents finally did it. The old goose and gander flew south, away from the icy roads and snow-covered driveways of Cleveland. Continue reading

Before I Get Started

By Ray Lesser

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First, I need to turn off the radio alarm clock that I put on the other side of the bedroom and tuned to the worst A.M. tea-bag talk station in town, so I can’t stand to lie in bed for even a minute longer listening to them rant about the Nazi Communist baby-killing do-gooder conspiracy that’s trying to take away our right to shoot immigrants. Continue reading

Funny Times September 2008 Issue

Funny Times September 2008 issue cover

Cartoons about:
Summer Olympics . Back To School . Funny Times Cartoon Playground . Heaven and Hell

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Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

 

In This Issue:

Liposuction: The Key To Energy Independence
by Barbara Ehrenreich

The Borowitz Report
by Andy Borowitz

Go Ahead, Panic
by Dave Barry

Retiring Bill Pullman
Craig Idlebrook

Ad Hell
by Jason Love

Ou’est Le Salle De Bain?
by Greg Tamblyn

To Gnaw Meat Is To Love Meat
by Lenore Skenazy

At 96, The Wonder Still Has Plenty To Say
by Garrison Keillor

News Of The Weird
collected by Chuck Shepherd

Curmudgeon looks at people

Resume Blunders

My Dining Room Is In My Garage
by Ray Lesser

Harper’s Index

Ask Dr. Science

 

current cartoon

A CEO’s Secrets of Power

By Ray Lesser

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Recently I was asked to be on a panel at the local university about the topic “What’s it like to be a CEO?” Members of the panel included the chairman of a technology company with a market cap of over $250 million, a woman who sold her thermoplastic start-up last year for multi-millions and just founded a new company to develop improved rechargeable batteries, the head of a biotech firm that is developing proprietary stem cell based therapies targeted for the treatment of ischemia, and me, President of Funny Times. The audience was filled with the kind of students I had never come across when I was in college struggling to get my B.A. in General Studies: graduate business majors dressed in suits and ties, with clipboards and briefcases, looking for all the world like the masters of the universe they intended to someday be. Here are some of the secrets of power I might have shared with them, if they had bothered to ask me any questions:

Before you can conquer the world, you must first figure out how to get your children to go to school.

For me the most difficult part in becoming a successful CEO has been to get up super-early every morning, in order to allow enough time to rouse, prod, cajole, coerce, beg, and bribe my children to get up and go to school. I recommend that anyone who wants to be a CEO be required to take at least a one semester course where they are forced to live with two or three elementary school age kids, and see if they can successfully wash, dress, feed, organize, motivate, lunch pack, crisis solve (and there’s guaranteed to be some crisis EVERY morning), get them out the door and still make their 9 am Strategic Planning seminar. If you have the mettle to successfully pass this test (and make sure that the kids pass all their tests), then you might have what it takes to control the markets in Europe or China. And believe me, China doesn’t scream half as loud as a five-year-old who doesn’t want to go to school.

Your employees know more than you do, they’re just afraid to tell you.

Whenever there is a really bad problem, the boss is the last person to know. But this is usually for the best because if he knew he’d just freak out, and find a way to delay coming up with a workable solution. Ninety-five percent of all business disasters get solved before the boss is any the wiser. The remaining 5 percent are probably unsolvable, but working on them makes us bosses feel as though we’re doing something important.

The customer is always right, except when he’s a real jerk.

To be successful in business you’ve got to do everything you can to keep the customer satisfied. But with some people, that’s not good enough. Maybe these few people are just not destined to be your customers. Let them be somebody else’s customers, preferably your competitors’. The more time your competition has to spend dealing with these jerks, the less time they’ll have to try to steal your nice customers.

Hire other people to do the jobs that you don’t want to do.

There are reasons why you don’t want to do some jobs. Maybe you were never any good at fixing the toilet or maybe you’ve fixed it so many times that you’d rather mop up the floor after it overflows, just to break up the monotony. When a job stops being fun, or at least interesting, it’s time to let someone else have a turn at it. You’ll be happy to do something else, and they’ll be happy to have a job.

Don’t surf the Internet until one hour after eating.

The Internet can be a dangerous place, and many people who have failed to take this warning have gotten severe cramps, or worse, were attacked by the sharks who prey on drowsy surfers.

Your loyal customers are the best ads that money can’t buy.

You want your company to be appreciated for who you really are and what you actually do, not some slick concept worked up by the minds of an ad agency. If you can fool customers with great advertising, then you wind up with customers who are fools. On the other hand, since most people don’t expect honesty in business anymore, if your company practices it, your customers will be so amazed they’ll want to tell all their friends about you.

Sometimes it’s better to lay down on the ground than fall off the ladder.

Richard Nixon once said, “A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.” And then he quit. Some people think they have to incessantly keep climbing the ladder of success, or else they’ll never attain their goals. But if your ladder isn’t properly secured and there’s a windstorm, or a special prosecutor with lots of witnesses, you may be destined to fall back to earth with a painful thud. Not everyone is destined to climb to the top. And laying on the grass staring up at the clouds can be quite a pleasant experience if you don’t fall off a rickety ladder to arrive there.

Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down. And the same goes for footprints on the copy machine.

I’m not exactly sure why this is good advice, but I like saying it anyway. I’ve never actually seen footprints on our Funny Times copier, but since I have seen the kind of prints that come from sitting down, nothing would surprise me.

The Applesauce Project

By Ray Lesser

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I never would have volunteered for the applesauce project at my son’s elementary school had I clearly understood that I’d be held responsible for a group of eager 6, 7, and 8-year-olds wielding razor-sharp knives.

I should have been tipped off by the desperation of the message left by Jean, the volunteer coordinator, on our answering machine. “I know I’m calling late, but we really need parents to come for the Wednesday and Friday morning shifts of our applesauce project. Please call me if you’re available.”

When I was picking up my son the next day, Jean, like any experienced volunteer coordinator, ran up from behind, grabbed my arm and refused to let go. “Sure, I’ll be happy to help on Wednesday,” I enthusiastically lied. Though, like every other parent, I was much too busy, I was also more than qualified to help supervise. In addition to 18 years as a Dad, I was once a camp counselor, as well as an assistant teacher of first and second-graders, long before I had any children of my own. I’d been through the wringer of experiences with little kids, so how hard would it be to make applesauce?

Besides, the applesauce project was so inherently good. The kids in my son’s class had come up with the idea of making and selling applesauce to raise money for cancer research, after finding out that one of their classmate’s moms was fighting the disease. Being a Montessori school, the teacher and staff agreed that this would be an excellent learning project, and that all the kids should have a chance to participate in as many of the steps of making applesauce as possible. The project started in a slow and manageable way, but after being advertised in the school newsletter for $2 a pint the demand for applesauce exploded. By the time I volunteered to help, the kids had already sold $400 worth of sauce and most were working a half-hour shift every day to try to fill the additional orders that continued to pour in.

When I arrived on Wednesday, Jane, an experienced volunteer, had already set out three large containers of sauce and stacks of empty plastic pints and scoops for the first group of four kids to fill. Four little aprons were neatly laid on four little chairs of the lunchroom where we were working. The beginning of the calm, orderly morning was shattered when the kids, including our own sons, appeared and began shoveling scoops of sauce into the containers. Gooey sauce began to overflow the sides of the plastic pints and pool on the table, or drip onto the carpeted floor. It splattered aprons and clothing, and coated fingers, which soon made their way into hair, ears and eyes. Then fights broke out over the different scoops and ladles, and who had or had not had a turn with each. Meanwhile, I searched in vain for a sponge or damp cloth to wipe down the sticky containers after the kids had smashed the lids onto the overflowing contents. Eventually I secured a bunch of brown paper towels from the bathroom, which I used to smear the applesauce around on the various surfaces. By the end of their half-hour the first group had successfully loaded the teacher’s room refrigerator with 40 filled pints, and left us with vats of saucy remnants to try to clean before the next group arrived. “That wasn’t so bad,” I commented, trying to scrub applesauce off my shoes with a disintegrated paper towel.

“Now’s when the real fun begins,” said Jane, unloading four huge bags of apples from a pantry. Soon a second wave of kids had filled the sink with water and were gleefully pouring apples into it, submerging them, and splashing each other as the ripe fruits bobbed back to the surface. Meanwhile, Jane was preparing cutting boards, peelers, corers, and enough knives to fully arm both the Jets and the Sharks for a revival of West Side Story. By the time I gathered a load of cleaned apples to bring to the table, one of the kids had already grabbed hold of an eight inch long chef’s knife, and was waving it at his tablemates. “Better let one of the parents use that one today, Kevin,” said Jane. He obligingly picked up a paring knife, instead, and began chopping away with the blade poised millimeters above his little fingers.

“Wait a minute,” I shrieked, as I grabbed Kevin’s arm. Hold the knife like this, and cut like this.” I began directing 6-year-old Kevin in the techniques of a professional restaurant prep-cook, while thinking of my own eight-year-old, who sometimes has difficulty spreading butter with a butter knife. The sharpest object I’ve ever allowed him to use is safety scissors.

“Oh, don’t worry,” assured Jane, “Kevin’s done this before, haven’t you Kev?”

“Yeah, this is my third time.”

Jane was calmly splitting and coring apples, while the children efficiently went about terrifying me with their death-defying knife handling. Kevin repeatedly pulled up his sleeves, and his extended arm and knife kept coming perilously close to making me an unwilling blood donor. But all of the children had rapidly moving knives and apples and fingers. I couldn’t possibly keep my eye on all the potential dangers at the same time.

“Here,” said Jane, handing me her knife. “Why don’t you do this while I go get some more apples?”

“Don’t leave!” I wanted to scream. But instead, I took a deep breath and gave in. “This is no different than watching a Hollywood horror flick,” I thought. “I’m sure I can make it to the finish if I just try not to look at the scariest parts.”

In the end the kids did great. They made gobs of great tasting applesauce and money for charity, while learning skills that they can show off at home to terrify their parents. Most importantly, they’ve given everyone who knows about this project, hope for the future, because these are just the kind of unstoppable kids who are going to do whatever it takes to cure diseases, help their families and communities, and transform the world.