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27 cartoons about Religion

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Other funny stuff about Religion

Funny Times April 2016 Issue

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Cartoons About …
The Presidential Election . Springtime . Taxes
Environmentalism . Religion . and more!

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Lynda Barry, Clay Bennett, Meg Biddle, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, David Cohen, Dave Coverly, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Judy Horacek, David Horsey, George Jartos, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Steve Sack, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Barbara Smaller, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Toro, Tom Tomorrow, Brad Veley, P.C. Vey, Dan Wasserman, Shannon Wheeler, Monte Wolverton, Matt Wuerker, Adam Zyglis … and lots more!

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Funny Times January 2016 Issue

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Cartoons About …
Politicians . Winter . Food and Drink . Modern Life . and more!

Cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Jack Compère, Dave Coverly, Bob Eckstein, Samuel Ferri, David Fitzsimmons, Martha Gradisher, Patrick Hardin, Buddy Hickerson, Scott Hilburn, David Horsey, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, L.J. Kopf, Mary Lawton, Tim Lockley, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Jessica Pruett, Graham Sale, Maria Scrivan, Jen Sorensen, Barbara Smaller, Mark Stivers, Betsy Streeter, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, Brad Veley, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Adam Zyglis … and lots more!

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Funny Times October 2015 Issue

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Cartoons About …
Media . Anniversaries . Friendship . Home Improvement . Wildlife . and more!

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Lynda Barry, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Samuel Ferri, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, Buddy Hickerson, Nicole Hollander, George Jartos, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Nina Paley, Joel Pett, Hilary Price, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Barbara Smaller, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Bob Vojtko, Shannon Wheeler, Chris Wildt, Zippy, Adam Zyglis … and lots more!

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Funny Times March 2015 Issue

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Cartoons about:
Religion . Satire . Sports . Children . and more!

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Matt Bors, Ruben Bolling, Martin Bucella, Tom Cheney, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Bob Eckstein, Samuel Ferri, David Horsey, George Jartos, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Julie Larson, Carol Lay, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Nina Paley, Joel Pett, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Flash Rosenberg, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Barbara Smaller, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

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Funny Times October 2014 Issue

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Cartoons about:
Money . I.T. . Religion . Shopping . and more

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Meg Biddle, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Matt Bors, Martin Bucella, Jon Carter, Jack Compère, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Samuel Ferri, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, Jeff Hobbs, Nicole Hollander, David Horsey, George Jartos, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Tim Lockley, Chris Monroe, Steve Moore, P.S. Mueller, Mark Parisi, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Kim Warp, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

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Funny Times July 2014 Issue

July 2014 Issue Cover

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Cartoons about:
Camping . D-Day . God . Parenting . and more

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Martin Bucella, Dave Coverly, Derf, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, David Horsey, George Jartos, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Chris Monroe, Steve Moore, P.S. Mueller, Mark Parisi, Joel Pett, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Flash Rosenberg, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Barbara Smaller, Jen Sorensen, Tom Swick, Tom Tomorrow, Tom Toro, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker … and lots more!

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Funny Times February 2011 Issue

Funny Times February 2011 Issue Cover

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Cartoons about:
Valentine’s Day . Television . Religion . Desert Islands . and more

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

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Funny Times December 2009 Issue

Funny Times December 2009 issue cover

Cartoons about:
Holiday Gifts . Politics . Religion . Family . Kids . Aging . Psychology . Music

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Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

 

In This Issue:

The Meaning of Christmas (Yes, That One Again)
By Garrison Keillor

Small Talk on a Big Issue
By Dave Barry

Santa Rocks
By Saralee Perel

Oy to the World (How I Learned to Love the Latke)
By Dan Zevin

Falling For It
By Bruce Cameron

Curmudgeon Looks At Religion
Compiled by Jon Winokur

Solitaire
By Colin McEnroe

Spork the Zero Tolerance Rules
By Greg Tamblyn

News of the Weird

Wisdom at Fifty
By Janet Periat

Growing Up the I-Pod Way
By Andrei Codrescu

Other Public Options
by Ray Lesser

PLUS:

The Week Contest
Cartoon Playground
Last Laughs
Full Pages of News, Work and Psychology Cartoons

Phone Call with Mom

LawtonCoupleStuck

Funny Times October 2008 Issue

Funny Times October 2008 issue cover

Cartoons about:
Politics . Olympics . Religion . Advertising . Diets

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Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

 

In This Issue:

The Borowitz Report
by Andy Borowitz

Sexual Politics For Dummies
by Lenore Skenazy

Dave Barry Goes To The Olympics
by Dave Barry

Pastors Go Postal
by Barbara Ehrenreich

A Plea From People Opposed To The Senseless Torture Of Adorable Baby Animals
by Dan Greenburg

Jury Duty
by Colin McEnroe

Bathing Beauty: An Idea For Cleaning America
by Garrison Keillor

A College Grad Arrives In The Real World
by Brandon Daynorowicz

News Of The Weird
collected by Chuck Shepherd

Curmudgeon looks at Gossip

Science Works To Save Us From Our Fat
by Ray Lesser

Planet Proctor

Harper’s Index

The Environment

Cartoon Playground

Ask Dr. Science

 

current cartoon

Poor Raymond’s Almanac

By Ray Lesser

ray-lesser-photo

Courteous Reader,

Given that this is an election year, we can be certain that religion and politics are bound to come together into an uncivil union, and not just in the State of Massachusetts. Already, three leading Republican candidates have firmly declared that they don’t believe in evolution, although they’re waiting for further polling data before deciding about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Since we are sure to hear much more about each candidate’s religious principles, and how much each is or isn’t truly in sync with the values of the electorate, we thought we should re-examine America’s ten core moral beliefs:

Top 10 Commandments

1. I am The Lord. Accept no substitutes!

2. Don’t use My name in vain. Swearing at athletes or politicians on a TV screen, or in a stadium, is completely useless: If you’re going to bother cursing somebody make sure to get close enough that they can feel your wrath.

3. Remember the Sabbath is the best time to take a trip to the mall. Less traffic and lots of merchandise on sale.

4. Honor your Mother and Father with something besides snarky comments or cheap plastic trophies. How about cooking them dinner and cleaning the kitchen for a change?

5. You shall not murder, unless you’re a government or large multinational corporation.

6. You shall not commit adultery, although Internet porn is OK, as long as it doesn’t involve children or Britney Spears.

7. You shall not steal. There are better ways to get what you want even if you don’t have any money. That’s why I created credit cards.

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Just because they didn’t return your cordless screwdriver doesn’t mean they deserve to spend the rest of their days making license plates in the state penitentiary.

9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. The way the real estate market is nowadays, you couldn’t afford the payments, anyway.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. What’s the matter with you? Don’t you have enough trouble already without getting mixed up with a married lady? If you want a date, talk to Me and I can hook you up.

The weather this year will continue to be hotter than hell. This is not an endorsement of any particular religious or scientific belief, but could be considered as a recommendation to invest in companies that make and service air-conditioners or swimming pools.

The best recipes this year will involve ingredients that are not easily made into bio-diesel or ethanol fuel products, as those ingredients are likely to become too expensive to eat regularly. It’s probably best to stick with things like wild berries, nuts, grasses and ornamental landscaping that can be easily foraged from the many vacant, unsold, unmown properties in your neighborhood.

The Sayings:

A fool and his money are soon part of a sub-prime loan scheme, which will be converted into a derivative product that a bank in Germany will be forced to write off. While the bank’s stock will crash but once, the fool will crash forever in his parent’s basement.

History repeats itself. And now with the writers on strike, so does every other channel.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, unless it’s made of organic, free-range chicken.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. At least that’s what my daughter says when she’s explaining why she got caught cutting class again.

The child is the father of the man. So why is it the man is the one who gets stuck with child support payments?

If you don’t make mistakes, you don’t make anything. Or at least that’s what the boss said when he closed our factory and outsourced all our jobs to China.

It is not work that kills, but opening your closet and having all the stupid, useless crap you bought fall on your head.

My kid is all thumbs: He can text message faster than I can talk.

Please, make me do something I’ll regret later. Otherwise, what will I have to talk to my therapist about?

The Tolerance Teachings of Genghis Khan & His Mongol Horde

By Ray Lesser

ray-lesser-photo

There should be a new TV show this fall called “American Idolater.” Fox TV can just copy the basic format from the Mongol Empire of Genghis Khan, and have three judges, a Christian, a Muslim, and a Buddhist, decide which up- and-coming religious leader is America’s biggest zealot, and deserves a million dollars’ worth of school vouchers and a chance to go on tour with The Rolling Stone-Throwers.

The original episode of this series took place on May 24, 1254, when Mongke Khan, grandson of Genghis and leader of the Mongols, received into his court the new French envoy, Franciscan monk William of Rubruck. Rubruck immediately told the court that he knew the word of God and had come to spread it to the ignorant hordes. “Those who do not keep God’s commandments do not love Him,” said Rubruck.

A Muslim cleric immediately challenged the Frenchman by asking, “Have you been in heaven that you know the commandments of God? And are you insinuating that our great leader Mongke Khan doesn’t observe God’s commandments?” Fortunately for Rubruck, the Mongols loved competitions of all sorts, so instead of dragging him off in chains for insulting the Khan, they instead arranged an organized debate amongst the empire’s main three rival religions, in the same way that they organized wrestling matches. In addition to the panel of three expert judges, a large audience came to watch. Mongke Khan laid down strict rules for the debate including, “On pain of death no one shall dare to speak words of contention.” This pretty much guaranteed that the debate would be extremely polite.

According to Jack Weatherford’s account of this spiritual wrestling match, taken from his wonderful book Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World, this may have been the first time in history that representatives of various faiths had come together and debated their beliefs as equals, “using no weapons or the authority of any ruler or army behind them. They could use only words and logic to test the ability of their ideas to persuade.”

“Their debate ranged back and forth over the topics of evil versus good, God’s nature, what happens to the souls of animals, the existence of reincarnation, and whether God had created evil. As they debated, the clerics formed shifting coalitions among the various religions according to the topic. Between each round of wrestling, Mongol athletes would drink fermented mare’s milk; in keeping with that tradition, after each round of the debate, the learned men paused to drink deeply in preparation for the next match.”

The results of having these hard-core religionists trying to convince each other of the rightness of their beliefs was predictable to anyone who has followed the past 5,000 years or so of recorded history. “No side seemed to convince the other of anything. Finally, as the effects of the alcohol became stronger, the Christians gave up trying to persuade anyone with logical arguments, and resorted to singing. The Muslims, who did not sing, responded by loudly reciting the Koran in a effort to drown out the Christians, and the Buddhists retreated into silent meditation. At the end of the debate, unable to convert or kill one another, they concluded the way most Mongol celebrations concluded, with everyone simply too drunk to continue.”

Maybe Genghis Khan really wasn’t such a bad guy. Sure, he and his Mongol horde invaded most of the kingdoms of the known world and conquered them in sometimes horrifically bloody battles, during three generations of almost constant fighting. But he also smashed the feudal system of aristocratic privilege and built a new system that promoted individuals based on their abilities and achievements. Then he lowered taxes for everyone (always a good political move), getting rid of them entirely for priests, doctors, and even teachers. At a time when most rulers considered themselves above the law, (and how exactly is that different from now?) Genghis Khan demanded that laws should hold rulers, including himself, as equally accountable as the lowliest goat herder.

Perhaps most amazing was the empire’s attitude toward religions. The Mongols were animists who worshipped the many spiritual forces of nature but, although they believed in the supreme law of the Eternal Blue Sky over all people, they permitted the free practice of all religions within their realms. Before dismissing Rubruck and sending him back to France (where Catholic priests were busy going from city to city to find and torture suspected heretics) Mongke Khan gave him a lecture on religious tolerance. “Just as God gave different fingers to the hand so has He given different ways to men.”

Can we get these guys to come back and run for office?

Twenty Things I Learned From God

By Ray Lesser

ray-lesser-photo

Don’t use the name of the Lord in vain: make sure whoever you’re swearing at sees every gesture and hears every word.

No matter how much you honor your mother and father it’ll never make up for all the crap you got away with when you were a kid.

Thou shalt not kill. Although special dispensation may be given for mosquitoes and certain types of black flies.

Thou shalt not steal, except things off the children’s plates that they’ll never eat anyway.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors property. But if you do covet something, first ask if you can borrow it to try, before wasting money buying one for yourself.

Nobody is forcing you to take the Sabbath off every week. But if you don’t you’re an idiot.

Thou shalt not bear false witness. But there are still plenty of true things that you can say to get your brother in trouble.

Children are for people who don’t know what to do with their lives. That’s why there are so many of them.

You may never find exactly what you want in the world, but if you keep searching long enough, you’ll forget exactly what it was you wanted.

Whoever said sex was a bad thing?

The odds of winning the Daily Double are not nearly as good as you think they are, even if your cousin did go to school with one of the jockeys.

If you’re not sure how to do something yourself, it’s best to hire somebody else to do it for you, especially when it involves plumbing.

You may never figure out all of the answers, but if you ask enough questions most teachers will give you a passing grade just to get rid of you.

If you want to impress people, don’t tell them you’re an artist. Instead, tell them that you’re an art collector. Just don’t bother mentioning that all the art that’s been collecting is your own.

At the end of every road there’s a good reason why people have decided not to go any further.

Whoever said butter was a bad thing?

Silence is often the best answer, but it’s a lousy way to start a conversation.

If you’re going to be cheap, do it when it saves you hundreds of dollars, not when it means your family gets to eat the crappiest no-name tuna fish so you can save a nickel.

You’ll never know where the line is unless you step over it once in a while.

If God created me in his own image, then maybe He has a comfortable pair of shoes I could borrow.