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46 cartoons about job

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Other funny stuff about job

Funny Times January 2016 Issue

January 2016 Issue Cover

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Cartoons About …
Politicians . Winter . Food and Drink . Modern Life . and more!

Cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Jack Compère, Dave Coverly, Bob Eckstein, Samuel Ferri, David Fitzsimmons, Martha Gradisher, Patrick Hardin, Buddy Hickerson, Scott Hilburn, David Horsey, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, L.J. Kopf, Mary Lawton, Tim Lockley, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Jessica Pruett, Graham Sale, Maria Scrivan, Jen Sorensen, Barbara Smaller, Mark Stivers, Betsy Streeter, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, Brad Veley, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Adam Zyglis … and lots more!

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Does Your Life Still Matter?

By Ray Lesser

Steve is a professor who specializes in Medieval Christianity. Although he has tenure, a good pension plan, and a lovely tree-shaded campus to work at, he recently found himself wondering whether he’s wasted his life by devoting most of it to John Wycliffe, the first person to translate the Bible into English. Continue reading

Funny Times November 2014 Issue

November 2014 Issue Cover

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Cartoons about:
Thanksgiving . Opinions . Geniuses . Selfies . and more

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Lynda Barry, Clay Bennett, Meg Biddle, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Matt Bors, Martin Bucella, Daryl Cagle, Jack Compère, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, David Fitzsimmons, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, Judy Horacek, David Horsey, George Jartos, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Tim Lockley, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, Steve Moore, P.S. Mueller, Mark Parisi, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Mick Stevens, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Dan Wasserman, Shannon Wheeler, Zippy … and lots more!

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VirtualTour

Is Dad In Danger Of Losing His Job?

By Ray Lesser

My children treat me as though I’m part of their personal staff. And they don’t think I’m doing a particularly good job.

My daughter wants me to be her secretary, and screen her phone calls. “If it’s Kevin, tell him I already left. If it’s Janet tell her I’ll be over in a half-hour.”

“What if it’s just someone who wants to talk to you?” I ask.

“Well then, obviously, tell them to call my cell phone!”

My 10-year-old son wants me to wash his laundry, and then fold it and put it away in his drawers. “And I need new socks. Buy me some more when you go to the store.”

“I don’t really know what kind you want.”

“Get me the ones that go up to the ankles, not high up on the calf, or low down at the heel. And make sure they have red stripes.”

“Maybe you’d like to come with me and pick them out yourself?”

“Don’t be silly, Dad, I’ve got to go to camp all day, and then I have a game tonight. That reminds me, I think it’s your turn to bring treats for the whole team. And please don’t get those crummy potato chips like last time. Everybody hated that. Get popsicles or ice-cream bars.”

“Those things melt, unless you bring them right at the end of the game,” I say.

“None of the other parents seem to have any problem doing that. Why can’t you?”

Meanwhile, my older son is looking for an apartment with his buddies at college. He keeps faxing me application forms to fill out. “Why do you keep sending these to me?” I ask him.

“The landlord wants the person who’s financially responsible to fill them out. And make sure you sign this one. You forgot to sign the last one, and the landlord rented it to someone else who had all their paperwork filled out correctly.”

“Ari, this is the tenth of these applications you’ve had me fill out this week. How many apartments are you renting?”

“Dad, you don’t seem to realize how tight the rental market is in this town. I need you to fill this out and fax it back right away, or we won’t have a chance to rent this apartment, either. Oh, and by the way, you said you were going to rip me a copy of that Miles Davis CD. Have you sent it yet?”

When I became a parent, I realized it was going to be a lot of hard work. But I had the na

A CEO’s Secrets of Power

By Ray Lesser

Recently I was asked to be on a panel at the local university about the topic “What’s it like to be a CEO?” Members of the panel included the chairman of a technology company with a market cap of over $250 million, a woman who sold her thermoplastic start-up last year for multi-millions and just founded a new company to develop improved rechargeable batteries, the head of a biotech firm that is developing proprietary stem cell based therapies targeted for the treatment of ischemia, and me, President of Funny Times. The audience was filled with the kind of students I had never come across when I was in college struggling to get my B.A. in General Studies: graduate business majors dressed in suits and ties, with clipboards and briefcases, looking for all the world like the masters of the universe they intended to someday be. Here are some of the secrets of power I might have shared with them, if they had bothered to ask me any questions:

Before you can conquer the world, you must first figure out how to get your children to go to school.

For me the most difficult part in becoming a successful CEO has been to get up super-early every morning, in order to allow enough time to rouse, prod, cajole, coerce, beg, and bribe my children to get up and go to school. I recommend that anyone who wants to be a CEO be required to take at least a one semester course where they are forced to live with two or three elementary school age kids, and see if they can successfully wash, dress, feed, organize, motivate, lunch pack, crisis solve (and there’s guaranteed to be some crisis EVERY morning), get them out the door and still make their 9 am Strategic Planning seminar. If you have the mettle to successfully pass this test (and make sure that the kids pass all their tests), then you might have what it takes to control the markets in Europe or China. And believe me, China doesn’t scream half as loud as a five-year-old who doesn’t want to go to school.

Your employees know more than you do, they’re just afraid to tell you.

Whenever there is a really bad problem, the boss is the last person to know. But this is usually for the best because if he knew he’d just freak out, and find a way to delay coming up with a workable solution. Ninety-five percent of all business disasters get solved before the boss is any the wiser. The remaining 5 percent are probably unsolvable, but working on them makes us bosses feel as though we’re doing something important.

The customer is always right, except when he’s a real jerk.

To be successful in business you’ve got to do everything you can to keep the customer satisfied. But with some people, that’s not good enough. Maybe these few people are just not destined to be your customers. Let them be somebody else’s customers, preferably your competitors’. The more time your competition has to spend dealing with these jerks, the less time they’ll have to try to steal your nice customers.

Hire other people to do the jobs that you don’t want to do.

There are reasons why you don’t want to do some jobs. Maybe you were never any good at fixing the toilet or maybe you’ve fixed it so many times that you’d rather mop up the floor after it overflows, just to break up the monotony. When a job stops being fun, or at least interesting, it’s time to let someone else have a turn at it. You’ll be happy to do something else, and they’ll be happy to have a job.

Don’t surf the Internet until one hour after eating.

The Internet can be a dangerous place, and many people who have failed to take this warning have gotten severe cramps, or worse, were attacked by the sharks who prey on drowsy surfers.

Your loyal customers are the best ads that money can’t buy.

You want your company to be appreciated for who you really are and what you actually do, not some slick concept worked up by the minds of an ad agency. If you can fool customers with great advertising, then you wind up with customers who are fools. On the other hand, since most people don’t expect honesty in business anymore, if your company practices it, your customers will be so amazed they’ll want to tell all their friends about you.

Sometimes it’s better to lay down on the ground than fall off the ladder.

Richard Nixon once said, “A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.” And then he quit. Some people think they have to incessantly keep climbing the ladder of success, or else they’ll never attain their goals. But if your ladder isn’t properly secured and there’s a windstorm, or a special prosecutor with lots of witnesses, you may be destined to fall back to earth with a painful thud. Not everyone is destined to climb to the top. And laying on the grass staring up at the clouds can be quite a pleasant experience if you don’t fall off a rickety ladder to arrive there.

Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down. And the same goes for footprints on the copy machine.

I’m not exactly sure why this is good advice, but I like saying it anyway. I’ve never actually seen footprints on our Funny Times copier, but since I have seen the kind of prints that come from sitting down, nothing would surprise me.