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26 cartoons about television

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Other funny stuff about television

Funny Times March 2016 Issue

March 2016 Issue Cover

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Cartoons About …
Politicians . Protests . Exercise . Substances . Gun Control . and more!

Cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, David Cohen, Jack Compère, Dave Coverly, Bob Eckstein, Martha Gradisher, Judy Horacek, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Tim Lockley, Scott Masear, Brian McFadden, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Graham Sale, Maria Scrivan, Jim Siergey, Barbara Smaller, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Swick, Tom Toles, Tom Toro, Tom Tomorrow, Brad Veley, P.C. Vey, Dan Wasserman, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Adam Zyglis … and lots more!

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Funny Times December 2015 Issue

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Cartoons About …
Holidays . Political Parties . Worrying . Parenting . Conversation . and more!

Cartoons by: Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Dave Coverly, Samuel Ferri, David Fitzsimmons, Martha Gradisher, Buddy Hickerson, Scott Hilburn, David Horsey, George Jartos, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, L.J. Kopf, Tim Lachowski, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, David Low, Scott Masear, R.J. Matson, Brian McFadden, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Nina Paley, Joel Pett, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Maria Scrivan, Jen Sorensen, Barbara Smaller, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

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Funny Times October 2015 Issue

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Cartoons About …
Media . Anniversaries . Friendship . Home Improvement . Wildlife . and more!

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Lynda Barry, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Matt Bors, Dave Coverly, J.C. Duffy, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Samuel Ferri, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, Buddy Hickerson, Nicole Hollander, George Jartos, John Kastner, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Nina Paley, Joel Pett, Hilary Price, Andy Singer, Jen Sorensen, Barbara Smaller, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Bob Vojtko, Shannon Wheeler, Chris Wildt, Zippy, Adam Zyglis … and lots more!

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WakeUpAndLaugh

Funny Times February 2015 Issue

February 2015 Issue Cover

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Cartoons about:
2014 . Valentines . Illness . Aging . and more!

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Clay Bennett, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Matt Bors, Ruben Bolling, Martin Bucella, Tom Cheney, Dave Coverly, Derf, J.C. Duffy, Samuel Ferri, Anne Gibbons, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, Buddy Hickerson, David Horsey, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, P.S. Mueller, Joel Pett, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Flash Rosenberg, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, Barbara Smaller, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Ward Sutton, Tom Swick, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, Tom Toro, P.C. Vey, Dan Wasserman, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker … and lots more!

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Funny Times February 2011 Issue

Funny Times February 2011 Issue Cover

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Cartoons about:
Valentine’s Day . Television . Religion . Desert Islands . and more

Cartoons by: Isabella Bannerman, Bizarro, Harry Bliss, Ruben Bolling, Bruce Bolinger, Dave Coverly, Derf, Tim Eagan, Bob Eckstein, Randy Glasbergen, Martha Gradisher, George Jartos, John Jonik, Ham Khan, Keith Knight, Peter Kuper, Mary Lawton, Carol Lay, Chris Monroe, Carlos Montage, P.S. Mueller, Jack Ohman, Rina Piccolo, K.A. Polzin, Hilary Price, Ted Rall, Maria Scrivan, Andy Singer, David Sipress, Jen Sorensen, Mark Stivers, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow, P.C. Vey, Shannon Wheeler, Matt Wuerker, Zippy … and lots more!

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What is “Clean” Content?

By Ray Lesser

The owner of CleanFlicks video stores in Utah is suing some of Hollywood’s biggest movie directors, including Steven Spielberg, Robert Redford, Martin Scorcese and Steven Soderbergh, for the right to censor their movies, and then rent or sell the “cleaned up” videotapes.

CleanFlicks claims they have a First Amendment right to excise foul language, sexual content and violence from videos destined for private use. “The interest of these plaintiffs is to remove the ‘rough edges’ – the objectionable content – only for the family viewing audience,” CleanFlicks’ spokesman said. Their customers “personal sensitivities don’t allow them to view the unaltered work, but they appreciate the storyline or historical context and want to be able to view the movie, without having to listen to the ‘F’ word.”

With the advent of new technology a whole industry of do-it-yourself censorship has sprung up in America. For example, Trilogy Studios founder Breck Rice said that his company’s MovieMask software does not alter movie content, but instead masks offensive material on DVDs. “It’s like taking a Picasso home,” he said. “Other companies in our space are painting right on that masterpiece and permanently altering it. It’s been changed and it’s no longer a Picasso. We put a piece of cellophane over it; you can remove the cellophane, and it’s still the same painting.”

I’m not sure what Picasso would have thought about anti-Blue Period parents racing around museums, just ahead of their children, taping cellophane over his nudes. But the Directors Guild of America is mad enough to use the “F” word, and is countersuing CleanFlicks. “We are appalled at the proliferation of companies that bypass the copyright holder and the filmmaker and arbitrarily alter the creative expression and hard work of the many artists involved in filmmaking,” said director Steven Soderbergh, who is first vice president of the DGA. “It is unconscionable, and unethical, to take someone else’s hard work, alter it and profit from it. Would anyone even attempt to defend ripping pages out of a book, leaving the author’s name on it and then selling it?”

I guess Soderbergh never read one of Reader’s Digest’s abridged books. Or maybe he’s never watched any of the censored versions of movies that play almost constantly on network and cable TV, interrupted every five to ten minutes to sell us more sex, lies, and self-help videotapes. Whether the directors like it or not, technology will soon be available to filter out whatever the consumer wishes to. CleanFlicks Mormon customers happen to be afraid of, and upset by nudity and bad language. But Americans are filled with all sorts of fears. Afraid of terrorists? Simply edit them out of your news. Does John Ashcroft nauseate you? Slap a filter on your media input and you’ll never have to see or hear him whine again. Offended by overweight comedians? Banish John Goodman, Rosie O’Donnell, Chris Farley, and Jackie Gleason forever. Can’t stand smokers or alcoholics? Expunge them and their filthy habits.

Gone will be the days of searching for hours through the video store for something that you might like. You’ll just type in all your desires and interests and a tailor made entertainment will come streaming your way. Your TV and media viewing can become as carefully constructed as an ad in the personals for a roommate. “Seeking hot, young, professional, vegetarians, good at Bulgarian folk dances and cat grooming to solve murder-mystery on the high seas in 18th century period costumes.”

Freedom of the press used to only be for people who owned their own printing press. Now, with the advent of the internet it is possible for anyone to self-publish and have access to an audience of millions, although in practice the only way you can get millions of hits is if you’re self-publishing nude photos of Britney Spears. So, in America today, freedom of the press is for those who either own a press or have pictures of Britney Spears naked.

But that will all change soon, as those naked pictures continue to drive the demand for the various new filtering and censoring technologies. CleanFlicks got its start in 1998 by selling 1700 edited copies of Titanic. The only scene it censored was the one of Kate Winslet posing nude for an artist played by Leonardo DiCaprio. The holy grail of filtering software is a program that will automatically act as a parent would act, and shield children from graphic sex, violence, and bad language, while nagging them to sit up straight and finish doing their reports.

Instead, the opposite is just as likely to occur. As one movie censor software executive said, “Once software enters the marketplace, someone will figure out how to alter that program for other purposes. If a program can slap a blouse on Kate Winslet in Titanic, someone could also alter the technology to take her clothes off. And how would that play in Utah?”

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The Lunatics Channel

By Ray Lesser

Why, you may ask, does television need a Lunatic Channel, when it already has the Fox News Channel? True, most of Fox’s shows are hosted by lunatics, but are they certifiable? (Hmm, that might make for interesting programming: Invite some psychiatrists onto the evening diatribes and watch as they try to persuade the hosts to come in for treatment.) However, the right-wing nuts who want to arrest everyone or blow up the world to make it safe for wealthy Republicans are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to insanity. There are way more crazy people out there, representing a much larger demographic, and they deserve their own channel too.

An argument can be made that the only reason all those right-wing wacko shows are on, is because they get good ratings, which enables the networks to sell more SUVs, bulletproof vests, hemorrhoid cream, laxatives, and whatever else this segment of the population needs for its ongoing paranoia and pain relief. The main question at the networks has always been, “Will this sell more beer?” which is why there are twenty seven cable channels devoted exclusively to football, wrestling, car racing, and Baywatch. The Lunatic Channel might not be able to sell much beer, but it surely would be great at attracting the perfect audience for Librium, Lithium, Valium, Prozac, and a host of other pharmaceuticals.

Here’s a lineup of some of the shows you might see, when the Lunatic Channel finally gets its would-be audience on the couch:

The Performance Art Theatre Each week performance artists from around the world bring you their latest presentations. This week, Jane White, sick of more than a decade of monthly visits from pamphleteering Jehovah’s Witnesses, finally snaps. Sunday morning she bangs on the door of the Kingdom Hall where the sect is having its services, then invites herself in and starts offering Performance Art pamphlets to the congregation.

The Alien Abduction Show An all star cast including Paula Jones, John Rocker, and Zsa Zsa Gabor recreates The Little Rock Anal Probe of 1999. Next week: ALIENS ARE ABDUCTING OUR PANTS! (Repeat)

What’s My Psychosis? A guest patient comes on the show and our panel of psychiatrists try to guess his current diagnosis. If the patient stumps the doctors, he gets a free one-month stay at the facility of his choice.

The New Age Exorcise Workout Sandy Shaman exorcises a ghost from her stationary bike.

Cloning Jesus Charlie’s Avenging Angels are no longer willing to rely on hope and prayer, waiting around futilely for Jesus to return. Not when they have the technology to bring him back right now! Tonight’s episode-Hijacking the Shroud of Turin.

The Donald Rumsfeld Show What are we going to do with the Al Qaeda prisoners? Keep them caged in Cuba for the rest of their lives, where they are outside all national and international laws on an island we have no diplomatic relations with? Put them in a maximum security psychiatric facility until they cease their suicidal tendencies, and the CIA can brainwash them to be counter-terrorists? I know, let’s implant an electronic tracking chip in their butts, and let them go. Then, they’ll lead us right back to the nests of other Al Qaeda members, and we can arrest them all and put them in cages in Cuba for the rest of….

The Freudian Analysis Hour Every weekday at 11 a.m., Max Besserlach comes in for his one hour appointment with the Doctor. Similar to the courtroom drama of the O.J. Simpson trial, we get to be firsthand witnesses to the Psychoanalysis of the Century, as Max tells the Doctor about his dreams, his childhood, and his peptic ulcer.

My Favorite Syndromes In tonight’s episode, the kids decide to give Dad a special Father’s Day treat, by doing everything Dad tells them to without arguing or talking back. Unfortunately, this triggers Capgras’ Syndrome, a condition which causes Dad to believe that his children have been replaced by imposters.

Lunatic Sports Our obsessed reporter spent all summer at the Harvard football field, wearing a black-and-white striped shirt and tossing bird seed around while blowing a whistle so that when football season began, every time the referee blew his whistle during the first home game, the field was suddenly covered with hungry birds. See a replay of the football game that was banned by both ESPN and The Nature Channel.