Genius Ideas

By Ray Lesser

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Ever since the 16th century, when a baby being born becomes stuck, the state-of-the-art tool to aid in its delivery has been the forceps. These giant pliers (probably based originally on coal tongs) are used to squeeze both sides of the infant’s head and yank or twist them out. The problem with this method is Read More

Lost

By Ray Lesser

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Sue lost her phone this morning. She was already at work trying desperately to find it, while I was still at home and knew exactly where it was because it rang and rang and rang, as she used someone else’s phone to call repeatedly and see if she could hear where she might have dropped Read More

To Afghanistan & Back – Funny Times Interviews Ted Rall and Matt Bors

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From the November 2010 Issue of Funny Times. In August, three cartoonists embarked on a month-long journey to Afghanistan, the frontlines of an American military/industrial/political quagmire, to gather an alternate and uncensored view of what the hell is really going on. Regular Funny Times contributors Ted Rall and Matt Bors, along with Steven Cloud, traveled as Read More

Post-Traumatic Parent Syndrome

By Ray Lesser

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I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of the baby crying. My beautiful dream of floating on a yacht in the French Riviera fades out as the wailing becomes louder and louder, like an incoming emergency vehicle.

Test Drive

By Ray Lesser

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I have many fond memories of my 11-year-old mini-van, like the time we dragged our then-teenagers 2,000 miles across the country to the parking lot of the Grand Canyon, and they refused to get out and walk the last 25 yards to look over the edge. But lately I’ve been visiting car dealerships, test-driving potential Read More

In A Hurry

By Ray Lesser

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When I’m in a hurry, I’m no longer sane. I try to speed up everything I do so that I can accomplish all the tasks on today’s to-do list, including those that have been on every today’s to-do list for weeks. I suddenly believe that I have superhuman powers like mental telepathy, laser focus, and Read More

The Generalist

By Ray Lesser

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Generally speaking, I’m a generalist. In college, I majored in General Studies: I wanted to be a General, but unfortunately, when I graduated, there were no job openings for any of the positions I applied for in the U.S., Canadian, or Klingon armies. So I moved on to other general job openings.

Cleaning Up

By Ray Lesser

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I’m cleaning the refrigerator when I notice there’s a bunch of hairy blue spots on my black olives. Is that natural or is it possible that they’re going bad? I didn’t even know olives could go bad; I thought they were preserved practically forever in vinegar and salt. Can vinegar and salt go bad?

Where To Get The Good Stuff

By Ray Lesser

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There are a million places to get something that’s mass-produced, amalgamated, made in China by child slaves or prisoners, and will either break the third time you use it, or kill your dog, or your hamster, or you, if you make the mistake of holding it too close to your nose.

Cartoonist Isabella Bannerman: Funny At 51

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“Now that I’m 51,” cartoonist Isabella Bannerman tells me, “cartooning is easier than it’s ever been. I don’t care the way I did about what other people think. I’ve stopped censoring myself. It gives me tremendous freedom.” Bannerman, who has contributed the Monday cartoon to King Features‘ popular Six Chix strip for more than a decade, has always loved making Read More

An Interview With The Head Of The International Bank Of Bob … Bob Harris

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This interview originally appeared in some issue. While on assignment reviewing the most expensive hotels in the world for Forbes Traveler, Bob Harris saw firsthand the absurdity of the gap in wealth between the richest and poorest people on the planet. At the Emirates Palace, a $3 billion hotel in the United Arab Emirates, they didn’t Read More

Submission Guidelines for Potential Contributors

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So they tell you you’re funny, huh? Great! That’s exactly what we’re looking for! Here are a few things you should know to submit your funny cartoons and stories to Funny Times: Our print publication pokes fun at politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion (yes, even religion) and the human Read More

Submission Guidelines

So they tell you you’re funny, huh? Great! That’s exactly what we’re looking for! Here are a few things you should know to submit your funny cartoons and stories to Funny Times: Our print publication pokes fun at politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion (yes, even religion) and the human Read More