The Generalist

By Ray Lesser

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Generally speaking, I’m a generalist. In college, I majored in General Studies: I wanted to be a General, but unfortunately, when I graduated, there were no job openings for any of the positions I applied for in the U.S., Canadian, or Klingon armies. So I moved on to other general job openings.

Test Drive

By Ray Lesser

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I have many fond memories of my 11-year-old mini-van, like the time we dragged our then-teenagers 2,000 miles across the country to the parking lot of the Grand Canyon, and they refused to get out and walk the last 25 yards to look over the edge. But lately I’ve been visiting car dealerships, test-driving potential Read More

Lost

By Ray Lesser

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Sue lost her phone this morning. She was already at work trying desperately to find it, while I was still at home and knew exactly where it was because it rang and rang and rang, as she used someone else’s phone to call repeatedly and see if she could hear where she might have dropped Read More

Genius Ideas

By Ray Lesser

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Ever since the 16th century, when a baby being born becomes stuck, the state-of-the-art tool to aid in its delivery has been the forceps. These giant pliers (probably based originally on coal tongs) are used to squeeze both sides of the infant’s head and yank or twist them out. The problem with this method is Read More

Where To Get The Good Stuff

By Ray Lesser

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There are a million places to get something that’s mass-produced, amalgamated, made in China by child slaves or prisoners, and will either break the third time you use it, or kill your dog, or your hamster, or you, if you make the mistake of holding it too close to your nose.

Singing

By Ray Lesser

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First, you find yourself singing in the shower. You can really rock the shower, so you start strumming some chords on the guitar to accompany yourself, and pretty soon you’re hanging out with a bass player, and then you find a drummer who has a basement you can practice in for the talent show.

Domestic News Bulletins

By Ray Lesser

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This just in … Sadie, the dog, has escaped from the backyard. Her whereabouts are currently unknown, although it is suspected that she is in the vicinity of the neighbor’s garbage cans, because that is where she was apprehended the last time she escaped.