Look, we get it. Life is complicated. And frustrating. And baffling. Even scary, on days when the TV is on any news channel. We all have questions! And it usually seems like whoever cribbed the answers to last year’s Galactic Entrance Exam for Intelligent Life is never going to get around to sharing the love with the collectively head-scratching human race.

And that’s why we’ve ginned up three awesome ways to amuse yourself / waste your time / keep yourself distracted as we all march merrily toward the ultimate dirt nap. Don’t worry, the answers are always the same vaguery, more or less … just like when you ask your kids how school was today. So try ’em all!

Shake the Magic 8 Ball!

Read Your Tarot!

Ask The Oracle!