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We are constantly being reminded of all the terrible things going on in the world by our news feeds, Substacks, email blasts, and Cousin Rudy, who calls every morning with his latest doomscrolling updates. I am fully aware that the end of the world could be only one bad bowel movement away by our current Commander of the nuclear football...

We're all hearing a lot about AI and how it's going to completely change the world as we know it, or possibly, depending on the algorithm that AI is feeding you, is a hoax perpetrated by the same people who brought you the QAnon shaman and will someday be remembered the same way as the Edsel, or "New Coke", or the totally faked "moon landing".

My rolodex has changed a lot since 1985 when we started The Funny Times. Back then one of the most important phone numbers I had for each contact was their fax number, which allowed us to instantly send blurry, partly illegible documents back and forth to each other to review, and possibly even sign. We haven't quite reached the day when I tell my AI assistant to engage my counterparts' AI assistants and then tell us what they've decided we're going to do, but it's coming. In the meantime, I still use the little cards in my rolling contact file, because they allow me to make certain special (off-line) notes about each person that I can review before I try to communicate with them. Here are a few examples:

New Year’s Day always brings an unparalleled opportunity to start fresh and turn your life around. Especially if you feel, as I do, that your life has recently gotten turned upside down and backwards, this might be a great time to quit moping and hiding in bed with a dog-eared copy of Project 2025 and make some mood-changing New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine:

New Year’s Day always brings an unparalleled opportunity to start fresh and turn your life around. Especially if you feel, as I do, that your life has recently gotten turned upside down and backwards, this might be a great time to quit moping and hiding in bed with a dog-eared copy of Project 2025 and make some mood-changing New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine:

New Year’s Day always brings an unparalleled opportunity to start fresh and turn your life around. Especially if you feel, as I do, that your life has recently gotten turned upside down and backwards, this might be a great time to quit moping and hiding in bed with a dog-eared copy of Project 2025 and make some mood-changing New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine:

New Year’s Day always brings an unparalleled opportunity to start fresh and turn your life around. Especially if you feel, as I do, that your life has recently gotten turned upside down and backwards, this might be a great time to quit moping and hiding in bed with a dog-eared copy of Project 2025 and make some mood-changing New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine:

New Year’s Day always brings an unparalleled opportunity to start fresh and turn your life around. Especially if you feel, as I do, that your life has recently gotten turned upside down and backwards, this might be a great time to quit moping and hiding in bed with a dog-eared copy of Project 2025 and make some mood-changing New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine:

New Year’s Day always brings an unparalleled opportunity to start fresh and turn your life around. Especially if you feel, as I do, that your life has recently gotten turned upside down and backwards, this might be a great time to quit moping and hiding in bed with a dog-eared copy of Project 2025 and make some mood-changing New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine:

New Year’s Day always brings an unparalleled opportunity to start fresh and turn your life around. Especially if you feel, as I do, that your life has recently gotten turned upside down and backwards, this might be a great time to quit moping and hiding in bed with a dog-eared copy of Project 2025 and make some mood-changing New Year’s resolutions. Here are mine:

As I write this my neighborhood is being overrun with leaf blowers. You know, that incredible invention that allows your average suburban homeowner to imagine what it sounds and smells like to be a Hell’s Angel gang member revving up his Harley for the ride home from the annual Sturgis, South Dakota motorcycle rally and bake sale. As an added benefit my lawn obsessed neighbors are setting off every crying baby and barking dog on the block.