Sign of the Times
Pennsylvania State Police are working to track down the perpetrator of a crime that’s no yolk… or joke. The Associated Press reported that on Feb. 1, 100,000 eggs were stolen from the back of a trailer in Antrim Township, and no leads have come in. “In my career, I’ve never heard of a hundred thousand eggs being stolen,” said Trooper Megan Frazer. But then, egg prices have rarely been so high. “We’re hoping that somebody knows something,” Frazer said. That would be eggs-cellent.
Inauspicious Award
Kathleen Murray of Sandford, Tasmania, credits bandicoots for helping her win the first-ever World’s Ugliest Lawn competition, The Guardian reported on Jan. 11. The marsupials, Murray said, have “actually liberated me from ever having to mow it again. I’m all for guilt-free weekends, especially since my ex-husband left with the lawnmower back in 2016.” (That must have been a good-looking Toro!) The contest began as Gotland’s (Sweden) Ugliest Lawn, which was conceived to encourage water-saving and environmentally friendly gardening in 2022. “All of (the lawns) were hideous and well worthy of winning, but the winning entry was really, really bad,” said Gotland’s Mimmi Gibson. “It brings me a lot of joy to see all the little creatures who now feel safe to come out during the day in my yard,” Murray said.
Irony
On Dec. 18 at the Family Dollar store in Mulberry, Florida, two shoplifters worked together to pull off a cleaning products heist, the Miami Herald reported on Jan. 10. The Polk County Sheriff’s Office, referring to the couple as Mr. Clean and Ms. Dookie until an arrest is made, hatched a plan to distract employees. “The man walked around the store gathering nearly $500 worth of merchandise (like lots of Gain, Tide and Clorox products),” officers said, “whilst the woman… (used) the restroom, without going to the restroom.” While employees cleaned up the mess, Mr. Clean walked past the registers and out to a Ford van, where Ms. Dookie joined him, and they drove away. The odd couple are still at large.
Goals
LuLu Lotus of Mississauga, Ontario, has earned a Guinness World Record for an impressive, if dubious, skill: She blew a 44.1-decibel whistle through her nose. United Press International reported on Jan. 9 that Lotus visited Aercoustics Engineering Ltd. to have her whistle measured in a special room. She said her 5-year-old son has recently discovered he, too, has a nose-whistling ability: “It would be a dream come true if he beat my record one day,” Lotus said.
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