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Trial and Error (from November 2023)

2024 Election
Ted Rall
AUTHOR: Ted Rall
|
SHARING IS CARING
  • lawyer says to judge "i didn't say I retired, your Honor. I said I quit working for good"
  • a judge says to a lawyer, "they're not my 'chambers' per se, but it sounds better than saying I'd like to see you in the men's room"
  • two dogs speaking angrily to a dog judge, one says "i peed on the property" and the second cuts in "but then i peed on his pee!"
  • a lawyer says "my client pleads the third amendment" and a defendent (who is a revolutionary era solider) thinks "of course he does"
  • Trump on a witness stand says "they're not coming after me... they're coming after you!" the judge says "the jury is instructed to disregard that statement"
  • lawyer says to judge "we request a change of venue to a city where jurors aren't familiar with my client's lifelong corruption and dishonesty"
  • blindfolded justice with a sword asks a judge "what happened to standing?... judicial restraint?... balance of power? equal protection?...and what happend to ethics?" the judge says "consider it all new precedent!"
  • A muffin bailif says "judge baird now entereing the courtroom... all rise" and in the second panel all of the jurors muffin tops pop up
  • Prosecutor says to a Jury "Granted, my client doctor barnes misdiagnosed his patient's restless leg syndrome as boogie fever, but he can't bed held liable because as we all know, with either case there is no cure"
  • Trial and Error, from the November 2023 issue of The Funny Times.Courtroom in which Donald Trump is sitting on the witness stand. The prosecutor is saying to the jury "you must decide: what did the president think, and did he really think it?"

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