A Day In Your Life Productions

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When my cousin Jack met me for lunch last week I was surprised to find that he was being followed by a camera crew.

“What’s going on, Jack? When your doctor told you to record everything you ate for lunch, I don’t think this is what he had in mind.”

“I’m having a movie made of my life, Ray. These guys are filming everything I do today, from the moment I woke up until I go to sleep tonight. Their company is called A Day In Your Life Productions.”

“A Day in the Life of an Accountant. Sounds like it’s got big box-office potential.”

“They’re not just taping one day of my life. I’m signed up to have them tape me one day a month.”

“So the sequel should be even better; Another Day in the Life of an Accountant. Why would you want to do this, Jack? Do you think they can use music, special effects, and years of film school training to edit 16 hours of your day down into an interesting thirty second late-night commercial for your tax seminar?”

“No, my life is a fascinating documentary, just as it is. And so is your life, Ray. Listen to their brochure. ‘Here at A Day In Your Life Productions, we think that every life is precious and complete, and that every day is an amazing four-star Hollywood journey. All we try to do is to preserve that journey so that you and your fans can re-experience it again, anytime you choose.'”

“What are you wearing on your forehead, Jack? Is it some sort of brainwashing device?”

“Oh, that’s my first-person camera. Besides having a film crew recording what I do and say, there’s also this special miniature camera, mounted directly on my forehead, making a complete record of everything I see or read all day long.”

“So not only will we get to see you applying Preparation H, but we’ll also get to see you reading all the instructions on the tube, first.”

“Think back to a day thirty years ago, Ray. Can you remember everything you did that day?”

“No, of course not. I can t remember everything I did last Tuesday.”

“Don’t you think it would be wonderful if you had a complete record of that day, everything you saw, read, ate, said? What it looked like where you lived and worked? Who your friends were, what they looked like then, what you talked about?”

“Let me think & 1975, that was my first year of college. If there were that much evidence available, I might still be in jail today.”

“With A Day In Your Life Productions, you’re able to go way beyond photographs or letters to remember your life. You get a perfect historical record of a complete slice of your own life. Think about how amazing it’ll be someday for my great-great grandchildren to see exactly what I experience today, Ray?”

“Ten minutes of you flossing your teeth. A half-hour of drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. An hour of driving back and forth to work. And I’m sure they’ll appreciate you much more when they see the hours of reality TV and celebrity poker shows you endure every night. Not to mention the fact that our waitress seems to have disappeared twenty minutes ago without ever taking our order. I think your camera crew must have scared her off.”

“It’s cool to go around all day with your own camera crew. You won’t believe how many people have already asked me for my autograph. And one guy even asked if he could upload our camera feed onto his website.”

“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself, Jack. I’m not sure the world is ready for a Live Accounting webcam.”

“You’re right. There are ethical issues involved. I don’t think my clients would want their private numbers exposed. Who knows what kind of perverts are out there, or what they might do with that kind of information.”

“You can’t be too careful nowadays with privileged information. Even Karl Rove knows that.”

“Can I let you in on a secret, Ray? I’ve already put some money into A Day In Your Life Productions, and there’s a chance you could get in on it, too. These guys are looking for investors. A Day In Your Life Productions is going to be the next big thing.”

“You know, Jack, maybe you’re onto something. Millions of Americans are completely self-absorbed, and willing to do almost anything just to be on TV. Now that it’s possible to make a cheap digital movie of your entire life, and half the people in my neighborhood have the equipment necessary to do it stuck in the back of their closets, I suppose it was inevitable that someone would make this happen. Can I get the Podcasting rights to your story?”

“You’ll have to talk to my lawyer.”

“Is he also having every moment of his day videotaped?”

“No, but that’s a great idea! Think of the market this product has for lawyers. They need to record every second of every working day anyway, to make sure they don’t miss out on any billable minutes. And if they could get enough of their accident-prone clients to do this, then there’d be video evidence to present in all their liability suits. I’m telling you, these tapes could easily pay for themselves, just in insurance settlements.”

“Jack, I’m sorry, but I have to leave your movie now. I’m late for an appointment.”

“But we haven’t eaten lunch yet.”

“That’s OK, you tape it, and I’ll get to see it later. Maybe in thirty years you can show me what I didn’t eat for lunch today.”

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