Success strategy #423: Write down important things like upcoming appointment dates on the backside of crumpled receipts. Then stuff the receipts somewhere — but where?
Success strategy #511: Always have a spare pair of glasses. That way they’re only half lost if you leave them at a friend’s house — but which friend’s house?
Success strategy #117: Eat that leftover Chinese takeout that’s been in the fridge for a week (or two weeks?) the night before an important meeting.
Success strategy #326: Always keep your phone and laptop hovering at a 2 to 5 percent charge. Ignore warnings and wait until they die at inopportune moments to search for a place to plug them back in.
Success strategy #424: Clear your nightstand by taking all the papers on it (a mix of junk mail, old to-do lists, and important legal documents) and puttting them into a plastic grocery bag. Stick the bag under a stack of other bags at the back of your closet to deal with later.
Success strategy #98: Hide some emergency cash in a place in your apartment that no intruder would ever think to look. Don’t remember that you’ve done this until a month after you’ve moved to another state.
Success strategy #112: Always use your phone as your alarm clock, so you never have to worry about waking up when you sleep away from home. Then turn off your phone the night before the big presentation to make sure nothing can keep you from getting a good night’s sleep.
Success strategy #24: Dress for success. Sniff the armpits of all your dirty shirts before selecting the cleanest one to wear because you’ve forgotten to wash them for the fourth consecutive weekend.
Success strategy #25: Or make sure that you’ve washed every single piece of clothing that you own, but forget to put them in the dryer until five minutes before you’re supposed to leave for work.
Success strategy #26: If you run out of deodorant, baking powder can be used as a natural substitute. Avoid storing your baking powder next to your garlic powder.
Success strategy #91: As Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” So keep at it, and always remember that there are at least 10,000 more ways to succeed that Edison never discovered!
Success strategy #118: Show the boss how hard you’re working by staying until everyone else has gone home. But forget to bring your keys so you can’t lock up and have to spend the night sleeping on the floor of your office. Now you can be the first one to work in the morning!
Success strategy #260: Nothing like a whoopee cushion on the boss’s seat to lighten up a staff meeting, especially if you don’t remember that he has chronic irritable bowel syndrome.
Success Strategy #205: You can put $5 in a rainy day fund each time you skip that Starbucks coffee on the way to work. This becomes especially important the morning the boss finds you asleep at your desk.
Success strategy #222: If you work hard at your job, you’ll make a living. But if you work hard on yourself, you’ll make your therapist a fortune.
Success Strategy #143: Do what you love. The world can’t have enough Art History majors (with a minor in Icelandic Studies).
Success Strategy #84: Remind yourself that life is a journey, not a destination. Especially after you’ve gotten on the wrong subway train.
Success Strategy #44: Wait ’til the night before an important assignment is due to start working on it. Make sure this coincides with the 10th anniversary dinner that your wife has spent weeks planning.
Success Strategy #165: Little things make big things happen. So, no matter how long it takes, keep looking for your car keys.
Thanks to Renae and friends for letting me steal some of their success strategies, which is one of my all-time favorite success strategies.